From Cheat the Hangman

Tonight we welcome Leander, Lyris Pembroke's spirit guide.

Lyris Pembrooke’s life is forever changed when she inherits her late uncle’s antique-filled Georgian mansion and discovers a small corpse hidden in the tower room, a 68-year old mystery that becomes her obsession and forces her to acknowledge that she will find the answers she seeks only through the intervention of Leander, her spirit guide, and her own budding psychic talents - if she dares to cross that threshold .

So, Leander, can you tell us a bit about yourself? You know, where you live when you aren't communing with Lyris Pembrooke, how many mortal lives you spent here on earth, that kind of thing?

No.

No?

That's classified information. Against the rules to talk about it.

Well, can you at least tell us what you did when you were last here? Maybe your profession?

Nope.

Okay. Would something cataclysmic happen? If you gave us some personal information does the space-time continuum collapse? What?

Nothing.

Then why can't you tell us?

This is my first gig as a spirit guide and I don't want to screw it up. Believe me, I spent enough lifetimes on earth and once or twice on other worlds, so I've done my time. As soon as Lyris joins us in this dimension, I hope to get a job with someone a little more enthusiastic about the gift of psychic ability. Actually, I hope next time its someone of the male gender. Lyris goes hormonal sometimes and takes up a lot of my time.

But, isn't that what you do? Watch out for your human subject and try and keep them out of trouble.

You're confusing spirit guides with guardian angels. Lyris has three of those and, believe me, they don't have a minute to themselves. My job is to help her develop her abilities, to raise her spiritual awareness so she can accomplish her soul's objectives.

How is she doing?

I guess not too badly. She finally accepted her gift, but only after I spent years poking her in the back, trying to get her attention. Finally I had to pop in without an invitation. That's not recommended but it was an emergency and I knew she would never invite me in voluntarily. Now she's getting used to me but, on the down side, sometimes she calls me just to talk.

What's wrong with that? It sounds like your relationship is progressing well.

She's supposed to contact me when she needs advice. I have a lot of other things on the go and don't appreciate being called away to talk about her cousin, the Family Trollop, or some other member of her fruitcake family.

Okay then. Speaking of your other activities. Lyris tells us you attend rock concerts. Who are the headliners – John Lennon, Rick Nelson, Jim Morrison ?

Pay no attention to Lyris. She keeps trying to find out who I hang out with but it's classified information.

So you said. Apparently, Lyris thinks you were once Winston Churchill because you quote him on occasion.

I also quote the Mad Hatter on occasion. Lyris will do that to you.

I understand that you and Lyris are, um, paired for life.

Her life. Yeah, we were matched by the Divine Source, so there's no getting away from her. Request denied.

Well, Leander, we appreciate you taking the time . . .

Time's nothing to me. But I gotta go, dude. I'm late for racquetball with... Oops, almost spilled it there.

And he's gone, folks. 

That's concludes our first ever interview with a spirit guide. I'm not sure Fred counts and he's no Guide -- maybe a Scout. Next time we'll see if we can get a spirit that's more forthcoming. Fortunately, we can always read Cheat the Hangman by Gloria Ferris and find out more for ourselves.